How to stop being the helicopter parent and teach your kids to do the hard things?
1.It’s ok for your kids to fail
Your kids will always be loved and feel safe at home but this is also a training ground for them to learn the hard things in life. Home is the best place for them to fall and get back up again.
As a mom, my natural instincts are always to protect my child. Making sure that everything is smooth riding for her. But I realize this will not help her in the long-run.
In a world where she will need to work hard and deal with setbacks, it is important for a child to know how to get back up again.
Create a safe environment at home where a child is allowed to make a mistake or even mess things up. Teach them the consequences of their decision and how they can learn from it.
For instance, if you allow your child on the internet then give them a wallet with a small amount of cash and allow them to spend it where they think it’s acceptable.
Most likely they might make a wrong purchasing decision online or even fall into a scam. Guide them along the way and show them where the mistake has been made.
Even when it comes to playing board games at home, don’t allow them to win just because you want them to be happy. In fact, play the game fairly and let them know that it’s ok to lose.
On a weekly basis, read out inspirational failure stories. This will help them understand that it’s ok to fail and everyone goes through setbacks in their life.
2. Be Honest
When our kids our young we always try to show them a perfect world. But as they grow older when need to help them understand that things don’t come easy in life.
To have a nice home, someone needs to tidy it up. To have a good meal, someone needs to cook and clean up after that. To live a comfortable life, they will need to work and earn a living.
Talk about the hard things in life, because this will be part of their life and they will grow up knowing that things don’t magically happen for them.
If you see a homeless person, talk with your kids how hard that person life can be. If you see a construction worker on the road then talk to them how difficult it is working in the scorching hot sun.
Tell the truth and do not sugar-coat life lessons.
3. Prepare them for the future
Have you thought about training your kids to do difficult things that would push them beyond what they think they are capable of?
I remember as a child, my father would always force me to do public speaking. I used to be very anxious and hated him for it when I was younger. But now I realize I got my confidence because of that simple activity.
I thank him for that!
Sometimes its good to push your child. They will start realizing things they never thought they can do. It takes them out of their comfort zone. In today’s world kids need to be adaptable and resilient.
You can start with simple things, for instance through volunteering. Have them to go out and serve their community.
If you want even something simpler then get them to do chores they would never otherwise do at home. For example, folding their own clothes, gardening, cleaning up the kitchen, etc.
These chores with shape their behavior and teach them responsibility.