Are you a fish person? Maybe you have a fish tank in your house. Or perhaps you cannot pass up the opportunity to go fishing every other weekend.
Maybe you haven’t had the chance to see a fish up close and personal but you do have some affinity for the water creatures. Is there some-fin about fish jokes that just tickle your finny bone?
Whatever your relationship with the sea creatures, we have some of the best fish puns that will leave you breathless.
ONE LINER FISH PUNS
Here are some one liner fish puns that can easily be inserted into any conversation:
- I think you are just fintastic.
- Well, that just seems a bit fishy to me.
2. That scientist is gilliant
3. What a boat load of pollocks!
4. I will love you for a krill-ion years.
5. Stop being so koi about this.
6. Who will be the sole survivor.
7. We whaley need to turn this car around, right now.
8. You just let minnow if you have any suggestions.
9. If you keep pestering me, im going to get a haddock.
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10. I can feel that drink all the way in my sole.
11. See those people; they have a very sofishticated taste.
12. Never trust unlicensed puns, always check to ensure they are ofishal.
13. I’ll bait that fish cannot swim on for much longer.
14. This is not the time or plaice for such sensitive discussions.
15. Remember the old saying: keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
16, Don’t even try to gillt trip me; I know exactly what I am doing.
17. Carp-e diem!
18. It looks to me that we are piranha roll now!
19. Cod you be so kind and pass me the pepper?
20. I’m sorry but salmon had to say it.
21. He deserves to walk the plankton for that.
22. All he said is nothing but a load of crap.
23. Dear Cod, I laughed so hard when he snorted out his milk.
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24. You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to figure out where this went to hell.
25. Holy carp, I can’t believe we are only halfway through the week.
26. At this point, we are simply hoping to avoid turtle disaster.
27. Ma’am, you are krilling me!
28. What is this aquarium website we are herring so much about?
29. I see you have met my nemo-sis.
30. They always want to mussel in on what everyone else is doing.
31. You had betta believe it.
32. It does not get any betta than this.
33. It is clear that you are a Dab hand at this.
34. She really schooled you about this.
35. Salmon call the doctor.
36. This is not a consensus a-monk the group.
37. Would anyone else like to place a bait?
38. Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself!
39. If you cross me, you will feel my wrasse!
40. Well now, it seems we are stuck between a rock and a hard plaice.
41. This is the first time I am herring about this issue.
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42. You just let minnow if you have any other suggestions.
43. Do you have a solution now or do you some time to mullet over?
44. I don’t know about you but all I sea are bass-icaly Cod awful puns.
45. What would it take for you to rise to the bait?
46. You should be able to do betta than this.
47. Cod I borrow something from you?
48. Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
49. Dear Cod, that was eely, eely bad.
FUNNY FISH PUNS
50. Some people don’t like fish puns and for the life of me, I cannot understand why, they just kraken me up.
51. We fish you a merry Christmas.
52. Calm down; I am a bit shell shocked myself.
53. I’m sorry my attempt at a joke is nothing but a pile of carp.
54. Let’s get Kraken on this list of puns.
55. My dad was a fisherman but he quit because he could not scale up his net income.
56. My brother was a fisherman but he quit because his net income was not enough.
57. Most fish will tell you that they like their drinks cold but their bait a little worm-er.
58. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s make this o-fish-all!
59. I have haddock with all these shenanigans.
60. Whatever you do, do not be cod dead wearing that!
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61. I know you; you wouldn’t be cod dead participating in this list of fish puns.
62. I don’t know about others but I do think you are fin-tastic!
63. I trout you, buoys and gills would mako it on Comedy Central tonight.
64. You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to come up with funny fish puns.
65. I’m out here, looking for my sole mate.
66. I’m a bass-ic fish.
67. I plead gill-ty.
68. Holy carp, it’s your birthday.
69. Stop spreading those fishcious rumors about her.
OTHER FISH JOKES
70. What does a fish wrap around its shoulders to keep warm? A shoal.
71. What fish goes up the river at 100mph? A motor pike.
72. What has big sharp teeth, a tail, scales and a trunk? A barracuda on vacation.
73. What type of instrument do fish love to play? The bass
74. Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
75. Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
76. Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman? He got lost at C.
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77. Why didn’t the Peppermint shrimp share her toys? Because she was too shellfish.
78. Why was the whale so sad? Because she was a Blue whale.
79. Why will the fish never take responsibility? Because it is always salmon else’s fault.
80. Did you hear about the fight in that Seafood restaurant? Four fish were battered!
81. Why don’t monkfish have girlfriends? Because they practice seal-aba-sea.
82. What did the fish say to his girlfriend? Your plaice or mine?
83. What did one shark say to the other shark? There is some-fin special about you.
84. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fishually impaired.
85. What is the most musical part of a fish? The scales.
86. Where do the sick fish go? To see a sturgeon.
87. Why did the little boy not eat his sushi? Because it looked too fishy.
88. Why don’t fish play football? Because they are scared of nets.
89. What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? Dam!
90. Where do female fish keep their money? In their octopurse.
91. What do you get if you cross a pastor with a guppie? A monkfish.
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92. Why do sharks live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
93. What happens when you mix a fish and a banker? A loan shark.
94. What are fish that act in movies called? Starfish.
95. How does a school of fish keep up on the happenings in the ocean? They listen to the current news.
96. What do fish learn on their first day of school? That the end of a fishing hook is the point of no return.
97. How do you tuna fish? You adjust their scales.
98. How do you communicate with a fish you haven’t seen in ages? You drop them a line.
99. What do you call a fish that does not believe in war? A pacifisht.
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100. What did the shark’s friends tell her when she got dumped? There are plenty of fish in the sea.
101. Why did the fish live at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school.
102. Why did the chef quit his job at the diner? Because he had bigger fish to fry.
103. Do you know why you should never date a fisherman? Because they will only string you along.
104. Did you try out that new seafood restaurant? I’m hooked.
105. What do you tell a fish when it is overreacting? You need o clam down.
106. Why is seafood healthy? Because it is really good for the mussels.
107. Why should you never fight an octopus? Because they are well armed.
108. What is a fish’s favorite television show? Tuna Half Men.
109. How do you make a fish chuckle? Tell a whale of a tale.
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110. What did the magician say to the fisherman? Pick a cod, any cod.
111. What is a day that all fish dread? Fry-day.
112. What is the laziest fish in the world? A kipper.
113. Why did the shark cross the road? To get to the other tide.
114. Why was the shark so good at singing the blues? Because he’s got sole.
115. Where do fish sleep? In their water beds.
116. What did the romantic fish want? A gill-friend.
117. Where do fish astronauts go? Into trouter space.
118. What country would fish live if they could survive on land? Finland, of course.
120. This is the best list of puns ever! Im not even squidding.
Conclusion : Fish puns
We hope you have enjoyed the fish puns above. Let us know which is your favourite fish pun?
Before you go, don’t forget to check out the growth-mindset kit aimed at raising children growing in a tech world